At the beginning of the year, a lot of stressful things occurred. My son was confined on New Year’s Day and a few weeks later I was re-assigned to a new client who had more demands than my previous one. The stress kept piling up over the following months and I noticed how I gained a lot of weight, how my acne increased and how I felt down a lot. I found myself just wanting to stay in bed the entire day and just eat, work and sleep. I lost interest in my usual hobbies including blogging, which explains why you haven’t seen anything new here lately.
Just this summer, I convinced myself to start changing my lifestyle by exercising more often and eating well. It was tough because I continued to feel the pressure from work and I carried the stress with me even after work hours. Exercising helped me feel a bit better but at the end of the day, my mind was always clouded with thoughts of my being a failure at work. A few months into my “lifestyle change”, I decided to weigh myself and realized that I gained more pounds and I also noticed some clothes got tighter. You can imagine my disappointment. I knew I was supposed to lose weight at that point, but for some reason by body was not responding to my weight loss efforts.
Bothered by my inability to lose weight, I decided to see a doctor. I figured it might be hormonal because of my persistent jawline acne and my delayed menstrual cycle. After a few consultations and tests she determined I had PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS and that I was having a hard time losing weight because I was insulin resistant. I was told that being insulin resistant comes with PCOS, like a ‘package deal’, and that it means that my body is not processing insulin properly. Although I felt frustrated upon finding out something was wrong with me, I felt somewhat relieved that I could finally put a “name” to everything I’ve been going through. I wasn’t just “not trying hard enough” or “Stressed lang” like most people around me would say. More importantly, now that I am working with a doctor to manage my condition I don’t feel so alone anymore and I am finally getting proper care.
I didn’t realize though that treating my PCOS symptoms would be tougher. You see, my doctor wanted to address my delayed menstrual cycle first above everything else, so we set the acne and weight gain issues aside and worked on regulating my cycles and for this she prescribed me some good ‘ol pills. I’ve never taken birth control pills before for a prolonged period – I lasted about five days and gave up because the side effects were terrible. I raised this concern with my doctor and she told me I had to deal with the side effects and give my body about a month to adjust, plus the pills were supposed to help with my acne. She also wanted me to continue with the diet and exercise and to avoid stress because it can aggravate my condition.
Being on the pill for a month was a roller coaster ride. During the first few weeks I was just a huge mess – I had headaches, I couldn’t sleep, I always felt nauseated especially at night (which covers my work hours), I had mood swings and cried for no reason, and my acne grew WORSE. It affected my productivity at work and I got even more stressed. A week later the side effects seemed to subside, but just when I though things were getting better, I was going down the roller coaster again. It was just horrible. The worst part was that my next cycle was still delayed.
At this point I spoke to my supervisor at work, and explained my situation. She understood how tough it was for me and she agreed to help me find another position if I pay my doctor a visit and get recommendation for less stressful work. It just so happened that I was due for a check-up. When I spoke to my doctor, she said I had to stay on the pill for another month and if it yielded the same results I’d have to switch brands. Seeing that I was indeed under a lot more stress than before, she agreed to write a recommendation for less stressful work. That same day, I got word from my supervisor that my client cancelled his contract with me – an immediate cancellation. Although the cancellation was not due to my performance, I still felt disappointed. However, I couldn’t stop thinking that the timing seemed to be convenient to my situation. As my husband likes to say, it’s as if it were “God’s will”.
My supervisors decided to give me two weeks off before taking on a new position at work. If anything, they want me to feel better before I take on a new client again. I think that’s just what I need – time to deal with the stress and “reset”. I’m really glad that my supervisors accommodated my request and understood my situation. So here I am now, typing away on my blog and trying to bring it back to life (Ugh, that sounded cheesy!). I can’t believe that I didn’t get the chance to blog about my birthday last May, or my Little Troublemaker’s birthday last June, and our latest stories and milestones.
If you’re one of my readers, I’m sorry if I’ve been away for so long. There’s just been so much to deal with but I’m working on getting back on my feet. I have this crazy list of things I want to blog about, and I will be sure to scratch them all off my list.
I’m curious to know though if are other moms out there with PCOS. How are you dealing with these crazy symptoms? Please feel free to share in the comments below, I really want to hear from you because I’m new to this. Thank you!